“It’s been a while now. Six months in fact. I don’t know how to say this… but... It’s over.”
That’s right. It’s come to this. I, a grown woman of 21, have, after six long months come to the realisation that I am… well, quite frankly bored. That’s right you heard me! Bored… of Facebook.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to do anything drastic, like say, shut down my account. HELL NO! Where would I post my photo’s, waste hour upon hour ‘browsing’ (ok, let’s face it, stalking) the random people who seem to have appeared on my ‘friends’ list (‘did I ever even speak to you at school?’) or while away the days reading other people’s profiles – “I really love socialising, and going out and getting drunk and getting pissed and yeah…” Yawn. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t like a good night out on the town? Talk about stating the obvious. The next thing you know there’ll be an option specifying your species. “Gender: Female. Religious Views: Christian. Species: Human” It’s like reading the CV’s of generation of retarded, alcoholic, illiterates. And ironically, we (I include myself as a self-confessed culprit of the aforementioned crimes against profile-writing) are the future generation of graduates.
Perhaps it’s the twenty(checks)-a-day habit that has driven me to this point. If only quitting smoking was that easy. I can see the campaign now: “Smoke twenty a day and eventually, you’ll quit through boredom.” Or was it the constant addition of hideous (and I mean truly hideous) images of myself on nights out that would best be forgotten, from my so-called friends. The trouble is, I am in no position of power to remove them. I can simply untag them. BUT THEY STILL EXIST IN CYBERSPACE! I am powerless.
Or is it the MySpace-esque façade my once beloved Facebook has donned? First it was the Gifts. Ok, kinda cute. Then came the graffiti wall. Fair enough, I can cope with that. But it was the pointless-as-a-chocolate-teapot addition of hundreds of time wasting applications that really got me fired up: “John has requested you add the waste of my-bloody-time application… Now with added crappy graphics!” Give me strength.
And so I realise that Facebook is going down the pan. Along with my sanity. And yet I will undoubtedly continue to check my page daily, hourly, minutely in some Sado-Masochistic loathing yet satisfying way…
Better just go check my profile…
Wednesday 15 August 2007
The Chines State Circus - A Review
Think you’ve had a hard day? Try forcing your entire body weight, via your neck, against two spearheads, and then have a friend smash a concrete slab against your back with a mallet. Doesn’t sound pleasant does it? But it’s all in a days work for the Wu-Shu Shaolin warriors at the Chinese State Circus.
The spectacular Chinese Circus performance began with the introduction of our MC for the evening. The Monkey King, as he called himself, reminded me of a colourful mime artist, dancing in time with the atmospheric drum beat whilst the excited crowd anticipated the first act. We were not to be disappointed. A flurry of acrobats tumbled, rolled and flipped their way into the ring, setting the standard for the rest of the show. Balancing fifteen foot high wooden poles decorated as Chinese lanterns, the performers moved effortlessly from standing to rolling and balancing positions. They even leapt their way onto one another’s shoulders as casually as a cat leaping to the top of a high wall. As the acrobats continued to effortlessly twirl and toss these giant ornaments like batons, the crowd began to excitedly anticipate the next act. But before we knew it the same acrobats had disappeared backstage, only to reappear in new costumes displaying the equally impressive gravity defying hoop diving act.
As the neon – orange coloured flash of robes appeared onto the stage, a sense of nervousness took over me. Having seen such martial arts acts before on television, I knew that these guys did not do things by half. Leaping and flying across the ring, the Wu-Shu Shaolin warriors displayed amazing sword fighting and body movements of great skill and precision. The level of the physical and mental endurance tolerated by the warriors was displayed by their most extreme acts. And I don’t mean the smashing of bricks over the head. Nor the karate chopping of solid wood by bare hands. But the sandwiching of two warriors between six sword blades and a bed of nails, only to be followed by the smashing of concrete over the bodies of what seemed to resemble a torture demonstration. The philosophy of the highly trained warriors relies on their refusal to accept any physical pain, achieved through deep meditation. They believe that the inner spirit controls the body and level of pain tolerated.
However the show was not just about displays of amazing physical ability, but beautiful visuals too. The golden fingered Bodhisattva dancers were resonant of ancient oriental traditional dancers, whilst beautiful geisha-like women performed mysterious scenes from Peking opera. Even the high wire acrobats gracefully held ornamental Chinese parasols throughout their performance. The bright gold and red Chinese dragons, a symbol of good fortune, danced playfully on and off stage between acts and performed their own delightful piece demonstrating grace and balance whilst rolling along on giant balls, much to the audience’s joy.
As if all of this wasn’t enough, the show’s line up also boasted Jar Juggling, The Happy Cooks – China’s very own talented clowns, a Yin and Yang slack wire balancing act, the double pole climbers, a beautiful contortionist named The Human Candelabra and the spellbinding mystery of A Hundred Faces.
The sheer physical strength of the acrobats, the supreme mental stamina of the Shaolin warriors, the grace and majesty of the more ornate and traditional Chinese acts and the overall attention to detail made the two hour performance fly by in a breathtaking flash.
The spectacular Chinese Circus performance began with the introduction of our MC for the evening. The Monkey King, as he called himself, reminded me of a colourful mime artist, dancing in time with the atmospheric drum beat whilst the excited crowd anticipated the first act. We were not to be disappointed. A flurry of acrobats tumbled, rolled and flipped their way into the ring, setting the standard for the rest of the show. Balancing fifteen foot high wooden poles decorated as Chinese lanterns, the performers moved effortlessly from standing to rolling and balancing positions. They even leapt their way onto one another’s shoulders as casually as a cat leaping to the top of a high wall. As the acrobats continued to effortlessly twirl and toss these giant ornaments like batons, the crowd began to excitedly anticipate the next act. But before we knew it the same acrobats had disappeared backstage, only to reappear in new costumes displaying the equally impressive gravity defying hoop diving act.
As the neon – orange coloured flash of robes appeared onto the stage, a sense of nervousness took over me. Having seen such martial arts acts before on television, I knew that these guys did not do things by half. Leaping and flying across the ring, the Wu-Shu Shaolin warriors displayed amazing sword fighting and body movements of great skill and precision. The level of the physical and mental endurance tolerated by the warriors was displayed by their most extreme acts. And I don’t mean the smashing of bricks over the head. Nor the karate chopping of solid wood by bare hands. But the sandwiching of two warriors between six sword blades and a bed of nails, only to be followed by the smashing of concrete over the bodies of what seemed to resemble a torture demonstration. The philosophy of the highly trained warriors relies on their refusal to accept any physical pain, achieved through deep meditation. They believe that the inner spirit controls the body and level of pain tolerated.
However the show was not just about displays of amazing physical ability, but beautiful visuals too. The golden fingered Bodhisattva dancers were resonant of ancient oriental traditional dancers, whilst beautiful geisha-like women performed mysterious scenes from Peking opera. Even the high wire acrobats gracefully held ornamental Chinese parasols throughout their performance. The bright gold and red Chinese dragons, a symbol of good fortune, danced playfully on and off stage between acts and performed their own delightful piece demonstrating grace and balance whilst rolling along on giant balls, much to the audience’s joy.
As if all of this wasn’t enough, the show’s line up also boasted Jar Juggling, The Happy Cooks – China’s very own talented clowns, a Yin and Yang slack wire balancing act, the double pole climbers, a beautiful contortionist named The Human Candelabra and the spellbinding mystery of A Hundred Faces.
The sheer physical strength of the acrobats, the supreme mental stamina of the Shaolin warriors, the grace and majesty of the more ornate and traditional Chinese acts and the overall attention to detail made the two hour performance fly by in a breathtaking flash.
Memoirs of a Zorbonaut
A Review
Step one: take a giant PVC hamster ball. Step two: suspend said hamster ball by thousands of multicoloured nylon strands within a larger PVC hamster ball. Step three: get in the hamster ball. Step four: find a hill… and you’ve got zorbing.
The peaceful Dorchester countryside seems like an unlikely place to indulge in some extreme adrenaline sports. But beyond the hills, through the fields and down the dirt tracks, smack, bang in the middle of nowhere, lies Zorb South. Originating in New Zealand, Zorbing is still a fairly undiscovered adventure activity in the UK, but slowly but surely it’s beginning to develop an underground fan base. And with numerous different Zorb riding options it’s not hard to see why the bizarre activity is becoming so popular.
My first Zorbing experience, in June 2007, came in the form of a dual-harness Zorb ride. In English, that means my boyfriend and I were strapped into the Zorb by harnesses, facing each other. For the more adventurous ‘Zorbonaut’ came the option of Hydro-Zorbing – yes that means hydro as in water. As in, a giant hamster ball, travelling at speed, down a hill, without a harness, with a bucket of cold water chucked in for good measure!
Hardcore thrill-seekers shouldn’t be put off or mislead by the sound of the dual-harness Zorb ride though. Firstly, getting to share the ride with a friend or loved one really made the experience special, and secondly as the guide warned us (just as we’d been strapped in, might I add,) “The dual-harness ride is actually much bumpier than being free within the sphere.” So there we were, suspended quite awkwardly in the humid bubble, at the top of the 200 meter runway. Luckily for me, or perhaps not, in hindsight, I was not facing forward. As the ball was pushed from the launch pad, and momentum began to mount the ride was like nothing I could have imagined. The guide was right for a start. A gentle roll, it was not! The overriding sensation that took over me was a serious case of the giggles, with the odd squawking sound uncontrolably coming out of my mouth with every bump. The way I would describe Zorbing would be: ‘like falling down a staircase made of clouds, in a balloon, in slow-motion.’
In total the run in the Zorb only lasted about 30-40 seconds, which may seem short considering what you pay. But, on the other hand, Zorbing is not something you are likely to try everyday, (unless you live in New Zealand, or are a hamster) so an experience definitely worth a go, even if it is slightly over-priced.
Step one: take a giant PVC hamster ball. Step two: suspend said hamster ball by thousands of multicoloured nylon strands within a larger PVC hamster ball. Step three: get in the hamster ball. Step four: find a hill… and you’ve got zorbing.
The peaceful Dorchester countryside seems like an unlikely place to indulge in some extreme adrenaline sports. But beyond the hills, through the fields and down the dirt tracks, smack, bang in the middle of nowhere, lies Zorb South. Originating in New Zealand, Zorbing is still a fairly undiscovered adventure activity in the UK, but slowly but surely it’s beginning to develop an underground fan base. And with numerous different Zorb riding options it’s not hard to see why the bizarre activity is becoming so popular.
My first Zorbing experience, in June 2007, came in the form of a dual-harness Zorb ride. In English, that means my boyfriend and I were strapped into the Zorb by harnesses, facing each other. For the more adventurous ‘Zorbonaut’ came the option of Hydro-Zorbing – yes that means hydro as in water. As in, a giant hamster ball, travelling at speed, down a hill, without a harness, with a bucket of cold water chucked in for good measure!
Hardcore thrill-seekers shouldn’t be put off or mislead by the sound of the dual-harness Zorb ride though. Firstly, getting to share the ride with a friend or loved one really made the experience special, and secondly as the guide warned us (just as we’d been strapped in, might I add,) “The dual-harness ride is actually much bumpier than being free within the sphere.” So there we were, suspended quite awkwardly in the humid bubble, at the top of the 200 meter runway. Luckily for me, or perhaps not, in hindsight, I was not facing forward. As the ball was pushed from the launch pad, and momentum began to mount the ride was like nothing I could have imagined. The guide was right for a start. A gentle roll, it was not! The overriding sensation that took over me was a serious case of the giggles, with the odd squawking sound uncontrolably coming out of my mouth with every bump. The way I would describe Zorbing would be: ‘like falling down a staircase made of clouds, in a balloon, in slow-motion.’
In total the run in the Zorb only lasted about 30-40 seconds, which may seem short considering what you pay. But, on the other hand, Zorbing is not something you are likely to try everyday, (unless you live in New Zealand, or are a hamster) so an experience definitely worth a go, even if it is slightly over-priced.
Ode To Blogspot
Good Intentions
I have such good intentions, of writing on this site,
Yet when the time comes to it, it always seems I might
As well just leave them to it,
The ones who get it right.
Why do I always suffer,
From wretched writers block?
And every time I try it
I stick between a rock,
(and a hard place for that matter)
I have such good intentions, of writing on this site,
Yet when the time comes to it, it always seems I might
As well just leave them to it,
The ones who get it right.
Why do I always suffer,
From wretched writers block?
And every time I try it
I stick between a rock,
(and a hard place for that matter)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)