Facebook… we need to talk.

“It’s been a while now. Six months in fact. I don’t know how to say this… but... It’s over.”

That’s right. It’s come to this. I, a grown woman of 21, have, after six long months come to the realisation that I am… well, quite frankly bored. That’s right you heard me! Bored… of Facebook.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to do anything drastic, like say, shut down my account. HELL NO! Where would I post my photo’s, waste hour upon hour ‘browsing’ (ok, let’s face it, stalking) the random people who seem to have appeared on my ‘friends’ list (‘did I ever even speak to you at school?’) or while away the days reading other people’s profiles – “I really love socialising, and going out and getting drunk and getting pissed and yeah…” Yawn. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t like a good night out on the town? Talk about stating the obvious. The next thing you know there’ll be an option specifying your species. “Gender: Female. Religious Views: Christian. Species: Human” It’s like reading the CV’s of generation of retarded, alcoholic, illiterates. And ironically, we (I include myself as a self-confessed culprit of the aforementioned crimes against profile-writing) are the future generation of graduates.

Perhaps it’s the twenty(checks)-a-day habit that has driven me to this point. If only quitting smoking was that easy. I can see the campaign now: “Smoke twenty a day and eventually, you’ll quit through boredom.” Or was it the constant addition of hideous (and I mean truly hideous) images of myself on nights out that would best be forgotten, from my so-called friends. The trouble is, I am in no position of power to remove them. I can simply untag them. BUT THEY STILL EXIST IN CYBERSPACE! I am powerless.

Or is it the MySpace-esque façade my once beloved Facebook has donned? First it was the Gifts. Ok, kinda cute. Then came the graffiti wall. Fair enough, I can cope with that. But it was the pointless-as-a-chocolate-teapot addition of hundreds of time wasting applications that really got me fired up: “John has requested you add the waste of my-bloody-time application… Now with added crappy graphics!” Give me strength.

And so I realise that Facebook is going down the pan. Along with my sanity. And yet I will undoubtedly continue to check my page daily, hourly, minutely in some Sado-Masochistic loathing yet satisfying way…

Better just go check my profile…